29 Apr In different phases of development, fear is more or less a part of it.
In different phases of development, fear is more or less a part of it.
The parents’ fear protects against these things; thereby the children learn what is dangerous and what is not.
We don’t need cowards, do we?
In different phases of development, fear is more or less a part of it. The developmental fears usually accompany a time of change – they enable the child to try something new without putting themselves in danger. For example, a one-year-old girl breaks away from her mother for the first time on the playground and after a short time becomes afraid of losing her. It crawls back or starts to cry – but it doesn’t get lost that way.
A two-year-old boy is allowed to do children’s sports alone for the first time. This separation may scare him. After the mother comes back, the fearful feeling has given way to pride – it is a piece "grown”. So the feeling of fear is adapted to the development and the respective upheaval.
Significant points of change in the development of a child are, for example, entering kindergarten, starting school, and puberty. Many of the fears often go away on their own when the child has gone through the developmental stage and has been able to get used to the new situation.
But most children cannot cope with their fear without their parents or caregivers. It is important to be close to them, otherwise excessive fears can arise that drag on into later development.
Parents as (fear) helpers
When children express fears, parents should respond – even if the fears appear unimportant or irrational to them. Fears are part of a child’s development. Parents must respond appropriately to prevent them from turning into anxiety disorders. That doesn’t mean that you fear your child "to take" have to. It benefits more when it can experience that fears are manageable and learn to deal with their fears. Give your child security – through loving hugs, conversations and attention.
Make him feel like you are there "for full" and want to help them overcome their fears. Try to understand what your child is afraid of – you can only do that if you engage with them. Suggest that they paint the situation, do pottery, knead or act out in a role play. Tell your child about a situation where you were afraid (as a child or as an adult). This is how you convey to him that you have overcome your fear – and that you can do it.
Recognize anxiety disorders
Heavy stress in (early) childhood can increase the risk of developing severe depression or anxiety disorders. These include physical punishment, abuse, and emotional neglect. However, disturbances can also arise if the development-related fears were not properly accompanied by the parents and these fears become great "Monsters" have grown together – so they could not be processed by the child.
In many cases, more or less severe anxiety disorders are caused by drastic events such as death, separation of parents, serious illness of a family member or an attack by a dog. It is not always obvious when a child has social anxiety and anxiety disorders.
The behavior of the children can also be interpreted as a lack of interest or a lack of motivation, unfortunately this often happens to parents who are themselves stressed or have to nibble on their own fears. Children who suffer from an anxiety disorder have exaggerated worries about everyday events for several weeks, are very tense and overexcited, and complain of headaches and abdominal pain without any organic cause being found.
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Older children and adolescents may experience physical symptoms of anxiety, such as palpitations, sweating, or tremors. In addition, wetting, difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep, stuttering and abnormal eating habits can all be signs of an acute anxiety disorder. If such a disorder is suspected, you should seek help from a child psychologist or psychiatrist.
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Fear of the darkSources used: own research
Excessive amounts of pollutants or the risk of babies suddenly falling down – Stiftung Warentest has classified some carriers as unsatisfactory. In contrast, there were no negative ratings for one variant.
Many parents prefer to transport their baby in a carrier rather than in a stroller – but there are quality differences between the models. This is the result of the Stiftung Warentest, which looked at 15 products – including slings, half-buckle and full-buckle carriers. Nine models cut "Good" off, including all cloths. On the other hand, there were some negative outliers for the carriers ("test"- edition 1/20).
Full buckle models can lead to poor hip development
With some full buckle models, for example, the experts criticized the fact that the seat bars cannot be adjusted. This could lead to a posture that is bad for the baby’s hip development. Two carriers were "inadequate" because they contained too high levels of pollutants for small children. The grade "Good" got here the "Manduca XT" (Grade 2.0), the "Kokadi Flip Baby" (2,1) and the "Ergobaby Adapt" (2.4).
The result was split in two with the half-buckle carriers, which are to a certain extent a mixture of a sling and a backpack. While the Hoppediz Nabaca Regular (grade 1.9) and the Cybex Maira.tie (2.5) "Good" two other models cut due to a missing chest strap "inadequate" from. As a result, the child could suddenly fall down if it is being transported on its back.
Slings ensure ideal posture for the baby
The bottom line was that the slings performed best, there were no negative outliers here. The advantage of this type of transport: if the baby is wrapped correctly, it sits in an ideal position. Mums and dads just need to know how to wrap the cloth. There are many techniques. One of them is to be learned.
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In the test there was with the "Amazon Carry Sling" (Grade 1.7), dem "Didymos great" (1,8), the "Manduca Sling" (1,9) and the "Moby Wrap Classic" (1,9) exclusively "Good" rated cloths.
Sources used: dpa-tmnStiftung Warentest news agency, issue 1/20
Know-it-all. Precocious. Some children set the tone for others as early as three or four years. Parents then often worry that their offspring will be marginalized with this behavior and that nobody will want to play with them anymore. Is that justified?
"This is often a very grown-up view of things because you know how much annoying a know-it-all is" says Ulric Ritzer-Sachs from the Federal Conference for Educational Advice. Sometimes that doesn’t bother children at all. And often the little ones learned by themselves in dealing with each other the behavior with which they offend.
When a child is disfellowshipped because of his know-it-all
If the child is actually marginalized because of his cunning, parents and educators should intervene. "It’s best to explain that not everyone wants you to help them. And that there are other ways than you can think of" says Ritzer-Sachs.
With slightly older children, you could perhaps practice that they ask others first before they trumpet their solution, for example: "I have an idea, may I tell you?" – and then accept it when the other person does "No" says.
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Parents should lead by example
And even if many parents do not like to hear this: Often children act out what they observe at home. "Parents are the most important role models, especially in kindergarten. And parents of know-it-all children are often know-it-alls themselves."
Sources used: dpa-tmn news agency
Little Isabelle, just turned three, yells like a stick and slaps her mother in the face. The mother had poured her milk, she would rather do it herself. In the so-called defiance phase, spirited children give out punches and kicks to assert themselves.
The child tests his or her power in the defiant phase and is initially enthusiastic about the excitement it can cause. Especially with children between the ages of two and four years it happens again and again that they cannot cope with their anger in their stomachs, then announce it very loudly to those around them and also do not shy away from hitting mom or dad. This behavior can be extremely stressful on parental nerves.
First attempts at autonomy
The Danish family therapist Jesper Juul once said on this subject: "From a child’s point of view, one could just as easily say that parents defy – the big ones just don’t want what the little ones want." An interesting thought. It is not easy for a young child to come to terms with the fact that at times the parents may not want what they want.
The child increasingly realizes that it is an independent being, tries to cut itself off from its parents, tests its own assertiveness and still needs a good deal of security in the background. Among other things, the security of being loved, even when differences of opinion arise.
In addition, at the age at which the defiant phase usually begins, turkish bridew it is not yet able to express itself verbally so well, which more often leads to misunderstandings between him and the environment. With this in mind, it is easier to see that the anger is not directed against you. It is an expression of conflict. Willing and ability are opposed here.
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Leni is four. And she has new shoes. Which she would like to wear herself, of course. But that doesn’t quite work out because she can’t tie the shoelaces on her own. Out of sheer anger, Leni throws her expensive shoes in the corner and yells … The little girl has reached her personal limit and is very angry about it. But right now it wants to do everything by itself and independently, and doesn’t want to be constantly dependent on the big guys.
Once you understand why the new shoes have just blown into the corner, it is easier to react with understanding and, as soon as they have calmed down, offer the child to practice the bow tie again. And to confirm that it will soon be able to tie its own shoes by itself.
Just too embarrassing
Sometimes such a tantrum is simply a test of one’s own limits. The classic is the situation at the supermarket checkout, where the sweets are prudently placed at children’s height: Lukas is three years old. Going shopping with him used to be no problem, but for some time there has been regular box office theater. He’s taken with the sweets and his mother’s no makes him throw himself on the floor, screaming, and romp.